So I mentioned this blog on here when I first found out about it, and then I promptly forgot about it altogether. A few weeks ago, I was reminded of it, and I read all the archived posts since June.
The blog is http://snacksfromthecruisebuffet.blogspot.com and it has spiritual insights and quotes. And it's my mom's. Anyway, the reason I'm re-sharing it with you is that I just love this entry on Psalm 139
I really recommend it- particularly to Annie (it's kind of like an ongoing quote book like the one I lent you in college).
While I'm on the subject of favorites... some of my favorites are changing now that I'm a full-time at home mom. For example, my favorite websites are full of crafts and activities for toddlers and recipes (like this amazing blog on crockpotting ). My social outlets are mostly all with Sam, other toddlers, and their parents. I'm getting excited about going to the big market in town so I can find pipe cleaners. My favorite blog on YouTube right now is this one.
I could seriously listen to it over and over without getting annoyed and what's more, I keep singing it and versions of it all day. Like, "Sambo, I like Sambo, I like how he coos and sits on the boppy "no?" oh Jeff! "Jeffy, I like Jeffy, I like how he drives the car and fixes our toys that break," No?"Dad! Yeah!, etc...
and here are some excerpts from the funniest thing I read this week
It's on how to prepare for becoming a parent...
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower
Lesson 8
Get ready to go out.
Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
Go out the front door.
Come in again. Go out.
Come back in.
Go out again.
Walk down the front path.
Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Lesson 9
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 10
Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.
Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendo
to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy" tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
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2 comments:
Yes, all of these would have been super-helpful before kids, but now are making me sigh and laugh at the same time. A corollary to #15 would be something Abby did last night. We had some folks over for dinner, and were sitting around the den chatting. One person was sitting on the floor talking with Becky across the room. Abby kept walking between them, right into this person's face, and blabbering away about something. Lesson #15b: Calmly ignore the child for a few minutes and see if they'll get the picture. Then calmly try to reason with the child about interrupting while not killing the obvious joy they were trying to share with you by blabbering...and try not to feel guilty about this: You're teaching them manners! - Jay
So true Jay, so true :-) There are so many times when I try to balance between adult expectation for kids (manners) and just enjoying the exhuberance. I think of that time when the disciples were annoyed with the kids for interrupting and Jesus was totally cool with it. I try to remember that when I'm in church trying to keep Sam quiet and he hears the bell for the eucharist and says loudly and with his hand to his ear "noise! Mama! noise!" He's just so excited about it.
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