CUT BY MONKS!!

I'll leave it to Caitlin to chronicle the jolly or trivial matters of our lives. I believe my blog contributions will be far fewer and noticeably more sinister. Read on only if you care to be wow-ed by fantastic and perhaps even exaggerated tales of our travels.

Our first real event of note took place while we were attempting to smuggle ourselves out of china. Using a series of ultra-dangerous ninja moves we learned while teaching English in Japan we had made it through immigration, past the giant portrait of chairman mao with moving eye balls, and through the field of automatic trash bins (see pic below-they are real, people!) without detection. But, just like the end of a low-budget Kung Fu movie, when we arrived at the gate we found there were at least two dozen bald-pated Buddhist monks waiting for us. I should have known something was amiss at that point!

The cost-benefit equation of choosing a discount air carrier in Asia is simple. Benefit: cheap tickets that allow one to identify with the people. Cost: a free-seating policy which forces even the elderly and young to wrestle for their place on the plane. Very Darwinian but not suitable for the weak or inexperienced traveler.

Practically hoisting my heavily pregnant bride upon my back I staked out our place in line with all the bravado of Tom Cruise claiming his land at the end of "Far & Away." This alpha-male-approach seemed to be succeeding until the critical moment of boarding arrived. As the line surged forward towards the plane it was cut in half by a swell of orange robes. Using a dizzying series of 'give-&-take' cuts, one monk multiplied into an army of monks in a matter of seconds.

Knowing my martial arts skills were probably outmatched, more by the sheer number of them than by any of their particular abilities, we were forced to secede our territory.

The tale does have a happy ending. Just when it looked like we wouldn't get seats together, the elderly woman in front us got her carry-on stuck on a chair's arm. Forcing our way past her, we secured seats with a modest headfirst dive into 32A and B.

MORAL: While a higher path to enlightenment precludes you from having to wait in line, it will still cost you all your hair.